Happy Birthday Robi

32 years ago today Robi came to this earth. Its been almost 2 months since he left. His time here was so short. I still ask myself the question, "Did we really have a funeral for Robi?" Was that real? I keep thinking he's still going to come over to our house and set up our apple TV :)
What would we do for him to celebrate his day today if he were with us? We would have the biggest birthday party possible! He would choose Texas de Brazil for his dinner and he'd spend the whole day glued to Amber and their girls. He loved them so much.
Amber is having a hard time right now. We've heard that immediately after a death is easier than the pain that comes a few weeks later, that seems to be true in her case. She is coming out of the haze she has been protected by over the last few months and its been very difficult. Today will be a challenge. Let's celebrate his birthday today by doing what he really wants- making his family happy. Send them a note, some flowers, a prayer, drop balloons on the doorstep- whatever you're most comfortable with. But he would like to see his family, especially Amber, happy again. That would be BEST present we could give him.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROBI! We miss you.

I like to hear how Robi's life has changed people. It makes it feel like there is a real purpose to this very difficult experience. His life changed me in many ways, especially now that I am drinking spinach, asparagas, etc etc drinks that I never wouldn've considered before. :) We grew up together and he's influenced my life for many years. My kids are 8, 6, 4, and 2 and in their short lives they have been shaped by his enthusiasm and wit as well. I was listening to my older 2 talk last weekend about one of our trips to Disneyland. They laughed about riding "Indiana Jones" with Robi and how it pretended to know how to read the crazy writings throughout the ride. He made up stories that included the little girls and claimed that's what written on the walls of the ride. They giggled and laughed. They loved him. I also enjoyed reading what Page Law wrote about Robi a few posts ago. To read it again, click here. She talks about how her life has changed and what she learned from his funeral service.

1 month anniversary

Last night marks the 1 month anniversary since I last saw Robi living on this earth. He was comfortably sleeping, though in a coma, he seemed strong and getting much needed rest. His monitored stats were really good and the doctors had even lowered his medication level allowing his lungs to do a little more work on their own. I was with Amber in the hospital as we talked about life and how we wanted to become better people, mothers, wives. She spoke and I listened, amazed and uplifted, as always.

We then talked about Robi's next steps in treatment. I was going to call a few doctors the next morning regarding alternative treatments and what was possible during his current hospital stay. We thought we could possibly get him some alternative cancer treatment while in his coma??? I would have called the next morning, had I been given that much more time. I left at midnight and as I left, Rob's sister had just gotten to town from Arizona and wanted to come see him. She met Amber and I at the door.

Rob was doing good when I left but I did notice there were a lot of hospital staff coming in his room that night, more than usual. His stats were good but they were concerned about his kidneys because he hadn't urinated much. While I was there, he was a given a shot to help induce urination... (which usually helps! A few days prior when I was he there he got the shot and he had to go right away, and then again, and again. :) But his shot that night didn't seem to do anything. It's hard to write the things I felt that night but I want to try because I'm hoping this blog will be printed one day, and Amber, and her girls, will find comfort in remembering these events. And what it felt like, from my perspective - the outside looking in. Amber called me about 1:30 am. I had just gotten home from the hospital and was getting in to bed. When I saw her name on the caller ID, my stomach sank. I knew she wouldn't call me at this time of night for any other reason. Jeff and I jumped out of bed and drove to the hospital. It took about 35 minutes to get there. I didn't ask questions when she called so I didn't know exactly what was happening. She told me to come, so we did. When we got there and I saw them sitting outside of his room crying, I still didn't know. To see Amber in such pain made me break down. I remember hugging her, still hoping there was a chance. Peggy was sitting next to us and she was making a phone call. She told the person on the other end that Robi had passed. The words knocked my breath away. NO!! It couldn't have happened. I just couldn't believe it. He was fine an hour ago!

We walked into his room, all of us weak in the knees. Alan literally almost fell over. I fell in the hall a few times and Jeff held me up. I really don't know how to describe how it felt to see him laying there. It was a peaceful sight to know his battle was over, there was no more suffering for him, but a heartbreaking experience to know we were left here on earth without him. We scooted him over and Amber lay next to him, holding him, talking to him, kissing him. I still can barely comprehend the emotion in that room. I'd rather not re-live it but on the other hand, maybe its something his girls will want to know. To know how their mother loved their father. To sit and watch her with him. She needed him. She wanted him. She would've, without any hesitation, given her life to bring him back. She was so scared and kept asking him how she was going to tell their girls that he wasn't coming home. She was so worried about their girls. As Jeff and I watched, and Julia Peterson, she made us promise to never fight with each other. We had to promise to love and appreciate each other. I felt so guilty to have Jeff with me.

I'm so glad it has been a month already. Amber has experienced the worst day that life can possibly give her, and she survived it. She will never go through that again. From that day forward, her heart can heal. It is a very slow process, but it is healing. Not forgetting him, not getting over him, (that will never happen), but adjusting to life without his physical presence. She has told me how she is envious of elderly people because they'll get to see Robi again soon.

On the 1 month anniversary of her father's passing, Joslyn started the first day of 3rd grade. Its a time of new beginnings. Lets appreciate the blessings we have right now. Planning for the future is good, but lets live in the NOW. Love those around you for who they are right now, not who you want them to become. Appreciate the home, the car, the job, that you have now - not the one you dream of having in the future. Spend a few extra minutes appreciating the family members in your life. Tell them you love them. Make this a new beginning in all of our lives to love more and laugh often.

Don't forget that there is a Soccer Game tomorrow at 6:00pm at Eldorado High School for Robi Grimshaw. Open to everyone! If you'd like to play, please bring your friends and neighbors and come out for a fun evening!

At the fair on Saturday the same boy won both raffles with the braces in them. He has decided to donate one back to Rob's family to raise more money. Isn't that so nice?! So if you would like a set of "phase 1" braces please email me or leave me a comment on here. Google phase 1 braces to find out specifics on what it is. I know it's early treatment for ages 7-10 years old. It's a value of up to $3500. Please let people know. This is open for anyone to make an offer on. Thanks!
My email is stone.lindsay1@gmail.com

A Fun Weekend

It was a lot of fun this weekend at the fair. Thank you to all of you who made the drive and came to support Robi's family. I think everyone that came had a great time, I know I did. There were so many of you who volunteered and we couldn't have done it without you. Thank you for all of your help! Between every activity and booth we required over 100 volunteers in order to accomplish what we did. If anyone has pictures to share, please email them to me at stone.lindsay1@gmail.com.

Tears filled my eyes many times throughout the day as I looked over to the main road and saw all the cars lined up and down. The balloon release was simply beautiful and I was so proud to be a part of this. I have many memories of Robi at the ranch but today will forever be my favorite. He would've loved to see his family there and all the people who came to support them, but he also would've loved to see all of the families who came out together - parents and children spending time together. Family time was very important to him and I know this fundraiser was more than just that. It was a tribute to Robi and his great example of love, friendship, adventure, and family unity.

If somehow it is possible to break the barrier and see what is going on here on earth while he is heaven, I imagine its hard for him to see Amber alone. He knows how she feels and he's probably sad that he can't help her or take away her pain. He loved her more than anything so, although this transition is easier on him than it is on Amber, it is still difficult for him to see her suffer. We are his hands here on earth. Let's keep watching out for Amber, Joslyn and Savannah and making sure they are not alone. Stop by to visit, help out whenever you can (Amber LOVES chocolate!), keep them in your prayers.

I know I'm a nerd for saying this but it makes me happy to think maybe he did get to grab a few of those balloons from the sky. Maybe he did get to touch the one's from his girls and Amber seconds after it left their hands. Whether its a silly thought or not, it makes me smile and I like to think he did. Just as we said as we released the balloons, "We Love You Robi!"

Native American Flute

This Native American flute has been crafted and hand made in spalted maple with a boxelder mouthpiece in the key of G. It is a work of art by an amazing artist and award winning flute maker, Tim Bluefint. He donated it to the Grimshaw family. It plays as beautiful as it looks. We will be raffling it off this weekend at the Country Fair. Please check it out as it will be on display. It is One Of A Kind. Raffle tickets are $10 each. If you are interested, it will be on display at the fair this weekend. Lynn WIlliams is running this raffle so please contact her with any questions. She will be at the fair.
Thank You.

Be Sure To Buy Tickets in Advance -- for a discount!

We have been learning lately that despite our best efforts, word about our Country Fair Carnival is not spreading as quickly as we had hoped. The fair will be this Saturday, August 20th. We are down to crunch time! If you are in the Vegas or Southern Nevada area please help us spread the word! Attach a link to the blog www.becausewecarecountryfair.blogspot.com to your facebook, blog, or any other means of getting the word out. If you are planning on attending, it would be very helpful to have you purchase tickets ahead of time to help us with attendance numbers. We are also still in need of a few more volunteers. The fair is going to be very entertaining and worth the short drive, we will be having a balloon launch in the evening to honor Rob. We are still dedicated to helping this sweet family for as long as possible. Thank you for your continued support!!

Robi was so awesome with kids. He always had a way to keep them busy and entertain them. I was just making lunch and over heard my girls' conversation with the friends they have here. Brooklyn was telling the others that Robi told her "if you lick your elbow, it tastes like a lollipop". HAHAHA. I was laughing so hard. I hope he can see the room full of little girls downstairs attempting to lick their elbows!

Soccer Game

On August 27th at 6 pm on Eldorado's soccer field there will be a co-ed Alumni soccer game in Robi Grimshaw's honor. We will be raising money for his family. Everyone is welcome to attend. If you would like to play, please contact David or Rami Ostler (via facebook). Donations will be taken at the gate and there will be a light concession stand.

Lessons I Learned From Rob

Yesterday was a very emotional day for me. After Rob’s service, I spent most of the day reflecting on what I had heard and seen, I want to share with you- lessons I learned from Rob.

- Don’t be afraid of life- the stories that were shared had such a common theme, Rob lived, he truly lived. He had adventures, he laughed, he put himself out there and did things that scared him.

- Make the most of things that matter, make the little things count- As I shared earlier in a blog comment, Robi and Amber were the only ones who would take Joslyn and my kids on the Grizzly River Rapids, in November-at night- in the freezing cold. Not only did he do it but he did it 4 times. He gave them memories. Many stories were told about entertaining sleepovers, jokes he told, and little things he did for others to make their day. These weren’t huge heroic acts, but simple things to bring happiness to others, he showed us that the little things count. Last night I made a cake after bed time, we got the kids out of bed (they weren’t sleeping anyway) and we ate cake, we did it for Robi. We didn’t worry about too much junk, or getting to bed on time, we stayed up late and had cake, something small and silly, but something that made us all smile. I hope we can all read that extra story at bed time tonight.

- Laugh a lot- His service was full of as much laughter as tears. So much was shared about his sense of humor and quick wit. Robi spent so much time making others happy and making them laugh. (I still want to know what the booger joke was). But my favorite was the letter to the inmate busted for stealing his band equipment (especially funnier because Rob himself caught and outwitted the poor fellow)

- Don’t put off the things you should do- I guess this one was more for me because of Robi. When he was in the hospital here in Vegas we wanted to go and see him but things just kept coming up (I can’t even remember what so they obviously weren’t important). We kept putting it off then finally got a sitter and headed out. When we were half way there Amber text us and said the Dr. said he had to rest, since we couldn’t see him we headed home. The next day they put him in a medically induced coma, he never woke up. I can’t tell you the sadness I feel that we let that moment slip away from us. I learned that when it comes to the things you should do- DO THEM, don’t let excuses and insignificant details get in the way.

- Build your testimony, serve- There were so many stories about Rob’s testimony. Once he joined the church he gave his whole heart to it, he jumped in with both feet and used the gospel to bless his family and those around him. I would have loved to be in the sacrament meeting where Rob took the whole time sharing his testimony! He magnified his calling and set an example for the boys he served and the adults he served with. I would have loved to see his Arrow of Light ceremonies, I know those boys will always remember them.

- Don’t complain- It was so inspirational to hear stories of Rob coaching his daughters soccer team while undergoing treatments but never complaining about the pain and sickness, his friends shared stories of trips he took, sometimes in miserable conditions but never uttered a word of complaint. (I’m going to throw Amber in here as well because it was so inspiring to hear some of their experiences with less than compassionate doctors. They never left angry or upset, but with compassion themselves. They were going through so much but felt sorry for the doctors and wished them well).

-Focus on the things that matter, love- He loved his family fiercely! He made sure they knew it. In the end he felt a desire to be home and with his girls, he also felt a desire to make sure Amber knew how much she meant to him, how much he loved her, but he didn’t wait till them to tell her and show her. He loved Amber, he loved his girls! He showed them every day in word and in deed. He loved his extended family, he loved his friends. He was always concerned about other people and their well being.

- Endure to the end- Though in incredible amounts of pain, he never gave up. He fought courageously to the end.

-Families are Forever- The Bishop shared amazing thoughts and insight at the end of the service. I’m sure we’ve all thought, at least he isn’t in pain any more, but there is so much more to that. Rob is now in a place of peace, where he doesn’t have to rely on faith anymore. His knowledge is so much more than our own. He has the answers to many questions we may have. He knows why his mission in life was fulfilled after only 31 short years, he knows what is in store for his family, and he KNOWS he will be with them again. There is such a peace in knowing families are forever. There is such heartache and loneliness in dealing with the loss of someone like Robi, but it is made bearable by the knowledge that our loving Heavenly Father has made that separation only temporary. While it will seem like a long time to his family, they have Rob up there preparing to be with them again, what a reunion it will be when they are united and able to live together for eternity, it will make this mortal life seem so brief in comparison. I am eternally grateful for the Plan of Salvation and the happiness and peace that it brings.

I know this was vey lengthy but my heart is so full. One of the reasons I felt I wanted to write all this down is because I didn’t know Rob as well as I would have liked to. We only became acquainted with the Grimshaw family a few years ago. I don’t have any high school stories, or growing up with Rob stories. I do have a few family Disneyland trips, trips out to the ranch, and couple dinners. We have a few special occasions we were lucky enough to be a part of, their family sealing, and Joslyn’s baptism. I wish we had more. My point is, even though we are recent and not long time friends, Rob had such an impact on our lives. I felt like I knew him even better after the service. I am so thankful for all the memories that were shared because I learned so much from them. You may not have known Rob personally, you might have only known him for a little while, or you may have known Rob your whole life, whatever the case may be we can all learn so much by the way he lived his life. Learning more about Robi has changed the way I think about some things and I hope to pay tribute to him by being a better person. All and all I have decided, I want to be like Rob!



Page Law



If you have stories, or want to share lessons you learned from Rob please leave a comment for all of us to read.

Robi's Obituary

This obituary will print in the Southern Utah Spectrum Newspaper Thursday, August 4th and Friday, August 5, 2011. It will also print in the Las Vegas Review Journal on Friday, August 5, 2011.




Robert Alan Grimshaw, 31, of North Las Vegas, NV, passed into the loving arms his Heavenly Father on Friday, July 29, 2011, after a courageous battle with a rare form of cancer.

Rob was born in Beaver, Utah, on September 20, 1979, to Alan Smith Grimshaw and Dawna Denise (Deedy) Sheppard Grimshaw.  He was the youngest of four children.  Rob married his high school sweetheart, Amber Lee Turner, and was sealed to her for time and all eternity in the Las Vegas, Nevada, LDS temple on February 26, 2011.  Rob and Amber are the parents of two beautiful daughters. 

Rob was a graduate of Eldorado High School in Las Vegas, where he was a standout soccer player.  His abilities led him to play locally at CSN and on indoor teams.  Away from the pitch, Rob was an accomplished guitarist/music composer, youth soccer coach, and Webelos leader.  Other interests included hiking and fishing.  He will be remembered by all who knew him for his witty banter, love of children, love for family, ability to think outside the box, and keen insight into one’s soul.

Rob is survived by: his wife, Amber; daughters Joslyn Talor (8) and Savannah Riley (2); father, Alan, sisters Tamara Byington (Eric) and Teresa Baer (Mark); three nephews and two nieces.

Rob was preceded in death by: his mother, Deedy Grimshaw; brother, Alan Oliver Grimshaw; and nephew, Riley Byington. 

Services will be held at the San Destin Ward Chapel of the LDS church, located at 5975 Clayton St (at Tropical), N. Las Vegas, NV.  Visitation will be held Saturday, August 6, from 9:00-10:30 am, with the funeral services beginning at 11:00 am. 

**Flowers can be sent to the church where his service is being held - 5975 Clayton St., North Las Vegas, NV 89031

Funeral Services for Robi will be held on Saturday, August 6, 2011 at the San Destin Ward (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) chapel. Building located at 5975 Clayton (at Tropical) North Las Vegas, NV.
9:00-10:30 Viewing
11:00 Funeral Service
We can't thank you enough for your love and support, but I'll say it anyway,
Thank You.

Because We Care Country Fair

We are still going to go on with the fundraisers that we have planned for Robi and his family. It will give us a chance to celebrate his life and share memories together. The ranch was one of Robi's favorite places so we are excited to have the fair in his honor. We originally started fundraising to earn money to pay for his alternative treatment but now our focus has changed a little. We will now fundraise to pay for the medical bills that will continue to come in for the next few months, and to pay for funeral costs. Anything extra will go in to a trust for his 2 little girls. I know Robi will be watching from above and eternally grateful for the support shown to his young family.



(click on the flyer to enlarge)



Please visit our blog, made specifically for this fair, to find out more information regarding the fair. Its going to be so much fun!! Simply click the on the link below the flyer.
www.becausewecarecountryfair.blogspot.com

On Friday, July 29 Rob Grimshaw left this earth.

I can tell you he left this life a better place because he was in it
and I know he will take great pride in preparing the next
for his beautiful wife and daughters.
We take comfort in knowing families are forever and they will be reunited once again.

Thank you so much for all of your love and support during the past few months. Rob felt it and was overwhelmed. He left knowing that his wife and daughters had a wonderful system support behind them.

The night of his passing was very unexpected by all of us. He was on life support but was doing very well on it. His numbers were good and he was strong. When the time came for him to go, it happened very quickly. His stats were reading normal at 1:30 am. He passed away at 2:30. It was a blessing that it was quick and he didn't seem to struggle through it.

Its very hard to write about the feelings and emotions of such a personal subject, especially when the experience isn't mine. Its my best friend's. I have tried to write in a way that tells his story positively and sensitively but I struggle to know what he would like me to write, especially now. I think if Rob were able to sign on here and leave us all a message he might quote a few lines from his favorite songs, he'd tell us a few jokes (that would probably take Amber about 10 minutes to catch on to) he'd express his love for Amber and his girls, and he would tell us to be happy. He is pain free. He is happy. He is with his mother and brother. He will be with us again.

He tried to convey his love for Amber the night before he was put in to his coma. He didn't know what was coming but he felt a sense of urgency and anxiety to make sure she knew how he felt. He couldn't come up with enough words to explain the deep feelings he felt for her. Amber wasn't ready for that conversation yet, but she told him she loved him too and that she knew he loved her.

They really are an amazing couple that are a wonderful example to all of us. He trusted her every decision and she did everything a person can do, and more. They showed their love for each other and didn't take each other for granted. There was never a conversation that I had with them during this whole experience where they didn't teach me a lesson, give me more faith, or inspire me to do better.

One person that I haven't mentioned a whole lot in this blog is Robi's Dad, Alan. He lives with Robi and Amber and he is AMAZING. He has taken care of the 2 little girls while Rob and Amber traveled. He helps with everything around the house and he is a strength to all of them. He has been there every step of this journey and I am so grateful he is there for Robi's family.

I love them so much and I thank you for all your help during this physically and emotionally painful past few months. Amber, Alan, Joslyn, and Savannah will be blessed and buoyed up by their faith in Jesus Christ.

Amber would really love to hear stories about Robi. If you are uncomfortable leaving a comment here, please email me at stone.lindsay1@gmail.com and share your stories and memories of him.
Thank you so much.

Slide Show

I will be putting together a slide show presentation for Robi that will be shown at his funeral. We are thinking the service will be Saturday at 11am but that time could change. Stay posted in case it does. If you have any pictures that Amber might not already have, please send them to me at bandvnelson@aol.com. Please try and have those in by Wednesday at the latest. Thank You!

There is no easy way to say it but Robi passed away last night at 2:30 am. Please continue to keep the Grimshaw family in your prayers. Please leave a comment sharing a funny story or good memory of Rob. We will print them to help his young family remember what a great man he is.

today

was a hard a day. Early this morning Rob really began struggling to get oxygen. His levels were dropping. For a few hours he struggled to breathe. He was intense in his effort to get air to the point of sweat and exhaustion. When all other options were gone, he voluntarily allowed the hospital staff to put him into a coma so tubes could be put in and fill his lungs with air. Try holding your breathe for a few hours... I understand why he chose this.

It is painful to see him so lifeless but there are alot of good points to this solution. Robi hasn't slept in months, literally! He has been in so much pain that we don't think he has been in a deep sleep since April. (no exaggeration) This way, he is forced to sleep. His body isn't feeling the pain and he can actually rest while he fights the pneumonia. Once he recovers from this, he will go straight to Phoenix! But until then, he must stay and recover before anything else can be done. He is in stable condition now. He is getting the oxygen saturation that he needs and his heart rate is good as well.

He isn't aware of anyone in the room with him. Visitors are very limited. But there is a special bond between Rob and Amber. One that even the coma doesn't break. When Amber is in the room, he knows it. He feels her and responds to her. While she was in the room today, he tried to get up. The nurses asked Amber to leave while they got him settled down again. In order for her to be in the room, she has to quietly sneak in, as if he's awake. That way he doesn't know she's there and she won't disturb his rest. We decided that she won't hold his hand for the rest of today in order for him to get the most rest he can. Before he went to sleep, he promised her he would keep fighting! but he knew he couldn't go on living in his condition.
When he wakes in a few days, he will be strong again. His body will have rested and he will be on his way to treatment in Phoenix.

Please keep him in your positive thoughts and prayers. The power of prayer can make miracles happen.

Tonight Rob and Amber are spending another night at Centennial Hills Hospital. He is getting better but its a bit of a slow process because his body is working hard to fight so much at once. The infection in his arm still hasn't cleared up so he is battling that, along with his pneumonia... and tolerating the pain that accompanies it all. For everything he is going through, he is healing well and we hope to start treatment in Arizona a week from today.
We received great news from the Burzynski Clinic in Houston today. They called to let us know that some of Rob's bloodwork results are back and his blood matches their protocol!! VERY exciting!!! They have a treatment that will help Rob and they are going to send the information to Phoenix. When Rob gets to Phoenix next week, he will start treatment from both clinics. We are so thrilled and can't wait to start!
I really enjoyed being at the hospital today. I don't know if it was watching him grasp Amber's hand as the pain became too intense to handle alone or seeing him reach for her when he couldn't catch his breath. Maybe it was watching his dad kiss him on the head as he slept or rubbing his soft new hair that has grown in. Whatever it was, I thought I would visit the hospital to brighten his spirits and I left as the one who was uplifted and taught. He is a fighter. He is strong. And despite the weak condition that he is in, he continues to be so witty and make everyone laugh.

A few things -
We are still fundraising as much as possible to help cover his treatment costs. All of this is alternative, which means insurance covers nothing. Everyone has been so supportive thus far and I know we can continue working together to reach our goals. The cost of treatment will begin at about $4000 per week so we need to keep up our hard work.

If any of you are looking for jewelry, maybe to save for a gift for an upcoming birthday or Christmas gift, please click on our Lia Sophia Jewelry Fundraiser on the right sidebar. All of the proceeds go to Robi.

There is a fundraiser on August 13 at the Cheyenne Saloon located at 3103 N Rancho Dr. LV, NV 89130.

The "Because We Care Country Fair" event will happen on August 20 at the Williams Ranch. The entire ranch is reserved for this fundraiser. There will be swimming, fishing, kayaking, pony rides, horse shoe tourney, face painting and more. Details will be posted this week but mark your calenders.

AND, in September we are having a Yard Sale so please think of anything you may want to donate! If you are ready to get rid of stuff now and don't want to wait until September you can drop it off to one of us so please comment, call or email!