Sunday, August 7, 2011

Lessons I Learned From Rob

Yesterday was a very emotional day for me. After Rob’s service, I spent most of the day reflecting on what I had heard and seen, I want to share with you- lessons I learned from Rob.

- Don’t be afraid of life- the stories that were shared had such a common theme, Rob lived, he truly lived. He had adventures, he laughed, he put himself out there and did things that scared him.

- Make the most of things that matter, make the little things count- As I shared earlier in a blog comment, Robi and Amber were the only ones who would take Joslyn and my kids on the Grizzly River Rapids, in November-at night- in the freezing cold. Not only did he do it but he did it 4 times. He gave them memories. Many stories were told about entertaining sleepovers, jokes he told, and little things he did for others to make their day. These weren’t huge heroic acts, but simple things to bring happiness to others, he showed us that the little things count. Last night I made a cake after bed time, we got the kids out of bed (they weren’t sleeping anyway) and we ate cake, we did it for Robi. We didn’t worry about too much junk, or getting to bed on time, we stayed up late and had cake, something small and silly, but something that made us all smile. I hope we can all read that extra story at bed time tonight.

- Laugh a lot- His service was full of as much laughter as tears. So much was shared about his sense of humor and quick wit. Robi spent so much time making others happy and making them laugh. (I still want to know what the booger joke was). But my favorite was the letter to the inmate busted for stealing his band equipment (especially funnier because Rob himself caught and outwitted the poor fellow)

- Don’t put off the things you should do- I guess this one was more for me because of Robi. When he was in the hospital here in Vegas we wanted to go and see him but things just kept coming up (I can’t even remember what so they obviously weren’t important). We kept putting it off then finally got a sitter and headed out. When we were half way there Amber text us and said the Dr. said he had to rest, since we couldn’t see him we headed home. The next day they put him in a medically induced coma, he never woke up. I can’t tell you the sadness I feel that we let that moment slip away from us. I learned that when it comes to the things you should do- DO THEM, don’t let excuses and insignificant details get in the way.

- Build your testimony, serve- There were so many stories about Rob’s testimony. Once he joined the church he gave his whole heart to it, he jumped in with both feet and used the gospel to bless his family and those around him. I would have loved to be in the sacrament meeting where Rob took the whole time sharing his testimony! He magnified his calling and set an example for the boys he served and the adults he served with. I would have loved to see his Arrow of Light ceremonies, I know those boys will always remember them.

- Don’t complain- It was so inspirational to hear stories of Rob coaching his daughters soccer team while undergoing treatments but never complaining about the pain and sickness, his friends shared stories of trips he took, sometimes in miserable conditions but never uttered a word of complaint. (I’m going to throw Amber in here as well because it was so inspiring to hear some of their experiences with less than compassionate doctors. They never left angry or upset, but with compassion themselves. They were going through so much but felt sorry for the doctors and wished them well).

-Focus on the things that matter, love- He loved his family fiercely! He made sure they knew it. In the end he felt a desire to be home and with his girls, he also felt a desire to make sure Amber knew how much she meant to him, how much he loved her, but he didn’t wait till them to tell her and show her. He loved Amber, he loved his girls! He showed them every day in word and in deed. He loved his extended family, he loved his friends. He was always concerned about other people and their well being.

- Endure to the end- Though in incredible amounts of pain, he never gave up. He fought courageously to the end.

-Families are Forever- The Bishop shared amazing thoughts and insight at the end of the service. I’m sure we’ve all thought, at least he isn’t in pain any more, but there is so much more to that. Rob is now in a place of peace, where he doesn’t have to rely on faith anymore. His knowledge is so much more than our own. He has the answers to many questions we may have. He knows why his mission in life was fulfilled after only 31 short years, he knows what is in store for his family, and he KNOWS he will be with them again. There is such a peace in knowing families are forever. There is such heartache and loneliness in dealing with the loss of someone like Robi, but it is made bearable by the knowledge that our loving Heavenly Father has made that separation only temporary. While it will seem like a long time to his family, they have Rob up there preparing to be with them again, what a reunion it will be when they are united and able to live together for eternity, it will make this mortal life seem so brief in comparison. I am eternally grateful for the Plan of Salvation and the happiness and peace that it brings.

I know this was vey lengthy but my heart is so full. One of the reasons I felt I wanted to write all this down is because I didn’t know Rob as well as I would have liked to. We only became acquainted with the Grimshaw family a few years ago. I don’t have any high school stories, or growing up with Rob stories. I do have a few family Disneyland trips, trips out to the ranch, and couple dinners. We have a few special occasions we were lucky enough to be a part of, their family sealing, and Joslyn’s baptism. I wish we had more. My point is, even though we are recent and not long time friends, Rob had such an impact on our lives. I felt like I knew him even better after the service. I am so thankful for all the memories that were shared because I learned so much from them. You may not have known Rob personally, you might have only known him for a little while, or you may have known Rob your whole life, whatever the case may be we can all learn so much by the way he lived his life. Learning more about Robi has changed the way I think about some things and I hope to pay tribute to him by being a better person. All and all I have decided, I want to be like Rob!

Page Law

If you have stories, or want to share lessons you learned from Rob please leave a comment for all of us to read.


  1. I have followed this story of this dear family for months, I am deeply touched by all I've heard and read. Please continue to post updates. We were rooting for Rob the whole time...even donated money. Now we are praying and rooting for his family mEmbers. I cry with every new update. He seemed a terrific man.

    the yates family

  2. I am Rob's cousin Janeen. The funeral was touching and your blog post reminds me what a powerhouse of an individual Rob is. Family was always the most important thing for Uncle Alan's entire clan. Thank you for your latest post. His testimony and well lived life inspires me! I spent a lot of time rocking Rob in a rocking chair when he was a baby and am happy for the time I had with him. He is so loved by everyone. 31 short years and an example to all. This blog, the fundraising efforts and friendship have helped so much. Thank you!

  3. I was good friends with Amber in junior high and became pals with Robi in high school. I have a memory of going to a haunted house I want to say Fall 06. He was hilarious trying to calm the girls nerves down going into this place only for him to be the one to freak us out and spook us in it! He was such a fun person and very genuine! He will be missed, but I must say something about Amber. She was my kindest friend growing up in my most awkward years of junior high and high school. She deserves the medal of honor for her bravery and valor as a wife and mother. I love her! <3 Cherine Montie