32 years ago today Robi came to this earth. Its been almost 2 months since he left. His time here was so short. I still ask myself the question, "Did we really have a funeral for Robi?" Was that real? I keep thinking he's still going to come over to our house and set up our apple TV :)
What would we do for him to celebrate his day today if he were with us? We would have the biggest birthday party possible! He would choose Texas de Brazil for his dinner and he'd spend the whole day glued to Amber and their girls. He loved them so much.
Amber is having a hard time right now. We've heard that immediately after a death is easier than the pain that comes a few weeks later, that seems to be true in her case. She is coming out of the haze she has been protected by over the last few months and its been very difficult. Today will be a challenge. Let's celebrate his birthday today by doing what he really wants- making his family happy. Send them a note, some flowers, a prayer, drop balloons on the doorstep- whatever you're most comfortable with. But he would like to see his family, especially Amber, happy again. That would be BEST present we could give him.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROBI! We miss you.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
I like to hear how Robi's life has changed people. It makes it feel like there is a real purpose to this very difficult experience. His life changed me in many ways, especially now that I am drinking spinach, asparagas, etc etc drinks that I never wouldn've considered before. :) We grew up together and he's influenced my life for many years. My kids are 8, 6, 4, and 2 and in their short lives they have been shaped by his enthusiasm and wit as well. I was listening to my older 2 talk last weekend about one of our trips to Disneyland. They laughed about riding "Indiana Jones" with Robi and how it pretended to know how to read the crazy writings throughout the ride. He made up stories that included the little girls and claimed that's what written on the walls of the ride. They giggled and laughed. They loved him. I also enjoyed reading what Page Law wrote about Robi a few posts ago. To read it again, click here. She talks about how her life has changed and what she learned from his funeral service.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
1 month anniversary
Last night marks the 1 month anniversary since I last saw Robi living on this earth. He was comfortably sleeping, though in a coma, he seemed strong and getting much needed rest. His monitored stats were really good and the doctors had even lowered his medication level allowing his lungs to do a little more work on their own. I was with Amber in the hospital as we talked about life and how we wanted to become better people, mothers, wives. She spoke and I listened, amazed and uplifted, as always.
We then talked about Robi's next steps in treatment. I was going to call a few doctors the next morning regarding alternative treatments and what was possible during his current hospital stay. We thought we could possibly get him some alternative cancer treatment while in his coma??? I would have called the next morning, had I been given that much more time. I left at midnight and as I left, Rob's sister had just gotten to town from Arizona and wanted to come see him. She met Amber and I at the door.
Rob was doing good when I left but I did notice there were a lot of hospital staff coming in his room that night, more than usual. His stats were good but they were concerned about his kidneys because he hadn't urinated much. While I was there, he was a given a shot to help induce urination... (which usually helps! A few days prior when I was he there he got the shot and he had to go right away, and then again, and again. :) But his shot that night didn't seem to do anything. It's hard to write the things I felt that night but I want to try because I'm hoping this blog will be printed one day, and Amber, and her girls, will find comfort in remembering these events. And what it felt like, from my perspective - the outside looking in. Amber called me about 1:30 am. I had just gotten home from the hospital and was getting in to bed. When I saw her name on the caller ID, my stomach sank. I knew she wouldn't call me at this time of night for any other reason. Jeff and I jumped out of bed and drove to the hospital. It took about 35 minutes to get there. I didn't ask questions when she called so I didn't know exactly what was happening. She told me to come, so we did. When we got there and I saw them sitting outside of his room crying, I still didn't know. To see Amber in such pain made me break down. I remember hugging her, still hoping there was a chance. Peggy was sitting next to us and she was making a phone call. She told the person on the other end that Robi had passed. The words knocked my breath away. NO!! It couldn't have happened. I just couldn't believe it. He was fine an hour ago!
We walked into his room, all of us weak in the knees. Alan literally almost fell over. I fell in the hall a few times and Jeff held me up. I really don't know how to describe how it felt to see him laying there. It was a peaceful sight to know his battle was over, there was no more suffering for him, but a heartbreaking experience to know we were left here on earth without him. We scooted him over and Amber lay next to him, holding him, talking to him, kissing him. I still can barely comprehend the emotion in that room. I'd rather not re-live it but on the other hand, maybe its something his girls will want to know. To know how their mother loved their father. To sit and watch her with him. She needed him. She wanted him. She would've, without any hesitation, given her life to bring him back. She was so scared and kept asking him how she was going to tell their girls that he wasn't coming home. She was so worried about their girls. As Jeff and I watched, and Julia Peterson, she made us promise to never fight with each other. We had to promise to love and appreciate each other. I felt so guilty to have Jeff with me.
I'm so glad it has been a month already. Amber has experienced the worst day that life can possibly give her, and she survived it. She will never go through that again. From that day forward, her heart can heal. It is a very slow process, but it is healing. Not forgetting him, not getting over him, (that will never happen), but adjusting to life without his physical presence. She has told me how she is envious of elderly people because they'll get to see Robi again soon.
On the 1 month anniversary of her father's passing, Joslyn started the first day of 3rd grade. Its a time of new beginnings. Lets appreciate the blessings we have right now. Planning for the future is good, but lets live in the NOW. Love those around you for who they are right now, not who you want them to become. Appreciate the home, the car, the job, that you have now - not the one you dream of having in the future. Spend a few extra minutes appreciating the family members in your life. Tell them you love them. Make this a new beginning in all of our lives to love more and laugh often.
We then talked about Robi's next steps in treatment. I was going to call a few doctors the next morning regarding alternative treatments and what was possible during his current hospital stay. We thought we could possibly get him some alternative cancer treatment while in his coma??? I would have called the next morning, had I been given that much more time. I left at midnight and as I left, Rob's sister had just gotten to town from Arizona and wanted to come see him. She met Amber and I at the door.
Rob was doing good when I left but I did notice there were a lot of hospital staff coming in his room that night, more than usual. His stats were good but they were concerned about his kidneys because he hadn't urinated much. While I was there, he was a given a shot to help induce urination... (which usually helps! A few days prior when I was he there he got the shot and he had to go right away, and then again, and again. :) But his shot that night didn't seem to do anything. It's hard to write the things I felt that night but I want to try because I'm hoping this blog will be printed one day, and Amber, and her girls, will find comfort in remembering these events. And what it felt like, from my perspective - the outside looking in. Amber called me about 1:30 am. I had just gotten home from the hospital and was getting in to bed. When I saw her name on the caller ID, my stomach sank. I knew she wouldn't call me at this time of night for any other reason. Jeff and I jumped out of bed and drove to the hospital. It took about 35 minutes to get there. I didn't ask questions when she called so I didn't know exactly what was happening. She told me to come, so we did. When we got there and I saw them sitting outside of his room crying, I still didn't know. To see Amber in such pain made me break down. I remember hugging her, still hoping there was a chance. Peggy was sitting next to us and she was making a phone call. She told the person on the other end that Robi had passed. The words knocked my breath away. NO!! It couldn't have happened. I just couldn't believe it. He was fine an hour ago!
We walked into his room, all of us weak in the knees. Alan literally almost fell over. I fell in the hall a few times and Jeff held me up. I really don't know how to describe how it felt to see him laying there. It was a peaceful sight to know his battle was over, there was no more suffering for him, but a heartbreaking experience to know we were left here on earth without him. We scooted him over and Amber lay next to him, holding him, talking to him, kissing him. I still can barely comprehend the emotion in that room. I'd rather not re-live it but on the other hand, maybe its something his girls will want to know. To know how their mother loved their father. To sit and watch her with him. She needed him. She wanted him. She would've, without any hesitation, given her life to bring him back. She was so scared and kept asking him how she was going to tell their girls that he wasn't coming home. She was so worried about their girls. As Jeff and I watched, and Julia Peterson, she made us promise to never fight with each other. We had to promise to love and appreciate each other. I felt so guilty to have Jeff with me.
I'm so glad it has been a month already. Amber has experienced the worst day that life can possibly give her, and she survived it. She will never go through that again. From that day forward, her heart can heal. It is a very slow process, but it is healing. Not forgetting him, not getting over him, (that will never happen), but adjusting to life without his physical presence. She has told me how she is envious of elderly people because they'll get to see Robi again soon.
On the 1 month anniversary of her father's passing, Joslyn started the first day of 3rd grade. Its a time of new beginnings. Lets appreciate the blessings we have right now. Planning for the future is good, but lets live in the NOW. Love those around you for who they are right now, not who you want them to become. Appreciate the home, the car, the job, that you have now - not the one you dream of having in the future. Spend a few extra minutes appreciating the family members in your life. Tell them you love them. Make this a new beginning in all of our lives to love more and laugh often.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
At the fair on Saturday the same boy won both raffles with the braces in them. He has decided to donate one back to Rob's family to raise more money. Isn't that so nice?! So if you would like a set of "phase 1" braces please email me or leave me a comment on here. Google phase 1 braces to find out specifics on what it is. I know it's early treatment for ages 7-10 years old. It's a value of up to $3500. Please let people know. This is open for anyone to make an offer on. Thanks!
My email is stone.lindsay1@gmail.com
My email is stone.lindsay1@gmail.com
Sunday, August 21, 2011
A Fun Weekend
It was a lot of fun this weekend at the fair. Thank you to all of you who made the drive and came to support Robi's family. I think everyone that came had a great time, I know I did. There were so many of you who volunteered and we couldn't have done it without you. Thank you for all of your help! Between every activity and booth we required over 100 volunteers in order to accomplish what we did. If anyone has pictures to share, please email them to me at stone.lindsay1@gmail.com.
Tears filled my eyes many times throughout the day as I looked over to the main road and saw all the cars lined up and down. The balloon release was simply beautiful and I was so proud to be a part of this. I have many memories of Robi at the ranch but today will forever be my favorite. He would've loved to see his family there and all the people who came to support them, but he also would've loved to see all of the families who came out together - parents and children spending time together. Family time was very important to him and I know this fundraiser was more than just that. It was a tribute to Robi and his great example of love, friendship, adventure, and family unity.
If somehow it is possible to break the barrier and see what is going on here on earth while he is heaven, I imagine its hard for him to see Amber alone. He knows how she feels and he's probably sad that he can't help her or take away her pain. He loved her more than anything so, although this transition is easier on him than it is on Amber, it is still difficult for him to see her suffer. We are his hands here on earth. Let's keep watching out for Amber, Joslyn and Savannah and making sure they are not alone. Stop by to visit, help out whenever you can (Amber LOVES chocolate!), keep them in your prayers.
I know I'm a nerd for saying this but it makes me happy to think maybe he did get to grab a few of those balloons from the sky. Maybe he did get to touch the one's from his girls and Amber seconds after it left their hands. Whether its a silly thought or not, it makes me smile and I like to think he did. Just as we said as we released the balloons, "We Love You Robi!"
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Native American Flute
This Native American flute has been crafted and hand made in spalted maple with a boxelder mouthpiece in the key of G. It is a work of art by an amazing artist and award winning flute maker, Tim Bluefint. He donated it to the Grimshaw family. It plays as beautiful as it looks. We will be raffling it off this weekend at the Country Fair. Please check it out as it will be on display. It is One Of A Kind. Raffle tickets are $10 each. If you are interested, it will be on display at the fair this weekend. Lynn WIlliams is running this raffle so please contact her with any questions. She will be at the fair.
Thank You.
Thank You.
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